


The Rose Without Thorns

by Jeniouis



Series: Lessons Learned [3]
Category: Avengers (2012), Captain America: The First Avenger - Fandom, Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alpha!Tony, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Good Father!Howard, M/M, Modern AU, Omega!Howard, Prostitute!Howard, Some swearing and strong language, Teen parent, Teenage Pregnancy, Triggers galore, Whump!Howard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 04:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1885674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniouis/pseuds/Jeniouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard was five years old when his mother told him she loved him. It was the most painful thing he had experienced in his life.</p><p>Howard was twelve when his foster father told him he loved him. It hurt just as much as when his mother told him.</p><p>Howard was fifteen when his foster father's love gave him a child.</p><p>Little Tony.</p><p>And Howard loved him very much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rose Without Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> Some bkgd notes: Howard is five at the beginning of this story and he’s in third grade. Alpha, alphess, beta, betess are like Mister and Misses. They’re respectful titles. Omegas don’t have titles. I have no idea how adoption agencies work so I hope I give a correct account.  
> Very big trigger warning. Triggers like whoa.
> 
> This was originally the direction [The Lives We're Given](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1253551) was supposed to take but I got a different idea while I was writing it so I decided to take a whack at my original idea.
> 
> These characters don’t belong to me. They belong to Marvel.  
> Enjoy :D

 “Howard, I want to show you something." Mommy said as she picked me up and held me in her arms. I was so happy because she didn't spend a lot of time with me. She was usually at bars hanging out with her other omega or alpha boyfriends.

"What is it mommy?" I asked her as she took me into the bedroom with her. She sat me down on the bed, rubbing my cheek.

"You know betas don't usually have children." She said, giving me a kind smile and I smiled back as she crawls into the bed with me. I'm cautious though because she usually didn't seek me out unless she needed something and there was something about the whole situation that hadn’t felt quite right.

"I just want to show you how much I love you. That would make me so happy." She said as she took off my shirt. "Can you be a good boy for mommy and let me show you how much I love you?" She asked in a sweet voice, taking off my pants and underwear.

Fear 

That was all I felt. Pure fear. But I wanted to make mommy happy so I nodded shyly.

I flinched when she touch me.

It hurt. Not physically but it was painful in a way I couldn't explain.

"Mommy?" I whispered shakily in confusion, hoping maybe she would hear the dismayed hesitation in my voice and stop.

"It's alright, Howard. I'm just showing you how much I love you. Here, lay down." She said as she gently laid me down on the bed on my back.

I cringe when she put her fingers inside of me.

The pain was physical.

"Mommy, that hurts." I told her, tears filling my eyes. I looked up at her hoping she would see how much she was hurting me and would stop.

"I know baby. It won't hurt so much after a while. Just let mommy show you how much I love you okay." She said, rubbing my cheek with a gentleness that was contrary to her actions. I nodded and clamped my eyes shut.

It hadn’t feel like love.

It felt like pain.

Degradation.

Hate. 

Everything but love.

But mommy said that it was so it must be true.

This must be what love feels like.

**3 Months Later**

 I was staring outside the window when my teacher tapped on my shoulder. I turned around to look at her and she was frowning.

"Howard, why aren't you working?" She asked, concern thick in her voice.

"I'm sorry Alphess Johnson; I didn't hear you." I said quietly. She knelt down to my level.

"Howard, you've been highly distracted for the last couple of weeks. What's wrong?" She asked and I shrugged because I really didn’t know what was wrong. I had been very confused since mommy started loving me.

"Why don't we go talk to the school counselor?" She said as she stood and I was suddenly scared. I hadn't meant to do anything wrong. "Oh no, you're not in trouble. I just want to make sure no one is hurting you okay." She said kindly, gently. I nodded and stood and she led me to the counselor's office.

The counselor’s name was Betess Richards but I didn’t see her right away; my teacher told me to wait in the lobby. I heard her talking with Betess Richards about me though, telling her that I had become distant, more fearful and sad; Alphess Johnson told her about my sudden crying spells and extreme nervousness.

I was scared because I felt as if I had done something wrong but before too long Betess Richards came out her office giving me a kind smile, kneeling down to my level. She asked me a lot of questions before she asked me if someone is hurting me at home. I didn’t really know how to answer that question so I just shook my head. I didn’t know if I was lying or not because what mommy did hurt me but she said it was love so it must not be as painful as I kept thinking. The counselor stayed quiet for a moment, glancing at Alphess Johnson.

“Howard, is anyone touching you at home in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable?” Betess Richards asked. I hung my head, squirming in my seat a little because I didn’t want to do anything bad. I didn’t want to get my mommy in trouble but I nodded because there couldn’t be anything wrong with love, could it?

“But she told me that it was love.” I said quietly.

“Who told you that Howard?” Alphess Johnson asked. Her expression was full of horror.

“My mommy.” I answered and both of their expressions changed to something I couldn’t explain.

I started crying and I didn’t even know why, something just felt wrong.

Alphess Johnson hugged me, whispering apologies in my ear.

There was something about her embrace that made me feel safe. Something about it was wonderfully different from the way my mommy hugged me.

“It’ll be alright Howard. We’ll make sure she won’t hurt you anymore.” Betess Richards said rubbing my cheek before she stood, walking back to her office where she made a phone call. A few hours later, a policealpha came and talked with me; he told me that I wouldn’t have to go back home to mommy any more.

I had mixed feelings about that. I was glad that mommy wouldn’t touch me anymore but I didn’t want to be separated from her either. I didn’t even understand why I had to be separated from her.

All she did was love me.

They let Alphess Johnson keep me for a couple of nights before a home was found where I could stay permanently. I loved staying with Alphess Johnson but the policealpha who took me to my new home told me that she wasn’t qualified to be a foster parent.

I didn’t know what that meant but I hated to leave her home. Though the new home I was taken to seemed nice. Alpha and Alphess Simmons, the people who were going to be my foster parents, were seemingly kind people. The policealpha stayed with us for a moment and explained my situation with them. He told them what my mommy did and why I was taken out of her care. He told them how they should care for me, giving me a hug and a lollipop before he left.

The Simmons’ were really nice people. Alphess Simmons was a kind and gentle woman. She never made me feel wrong and she always took good care of me.

Alpha Simmons was a bit of a different story though. He looked at me, hungrily; the way my mother used to look at me. He was still kind and gentle but he was very touchy. Alpha Simmons never touch me like my mommy did but whenever he touched me or hugged me, it didn’t feel pure like Alphess Simmons.

But it didn’t seem harmful either so I figured that something must be wrong with me so I ignored it.

**Seven Years Later**

“Hey ma, I’m home.” I called out. I just walked home from school and usually mom was home cooking but my dad walked out of his study instead.

“Hey kiddo, Agnes is shopping right now. How was school?” Dad asked me, playfully punching my arm.

“It was good.” I said as I put my coat on the coat hanger, trying to ignore the leer my foster dad was giving me. “How was your day?”

“It was fine.” Dad said distractedly. “You know I love you right.”

I froze. My foster parents never told me they loved me; it was a trigger for me and there was something about the way dad said it that felt wrong.

“I love you too.” I said shyly, mostly an automatic response. I felt in between worlds. Like half of me was here, becoming more afraid of my foster dad by the second and another half of me was back in the past being laid out on a bed with my mother hurting me.

“Do you?” Dad said as he walked up to me, rubbing my cheek. I nodded. “Can you show me? Can you show me how much you love me?” He said before he pushed his hand inside my pants, touching me.

“Dad, Stop!” I said as I tried to push him away. “You know that’s what my mother did. Stop this.”

“Shhh, it’s alright.” He cooed in my ear as he pulled down my pants and underwear.

 Just like my mother used to.

“There’s nothing wrong with love. She told you it was love, didn’t she?” He asked as he unzipped his pants and pulled himself out. I nodded as he pressed me up against the wall, hoisting me up a little. “See, that’s all this is: love.” He said but it felt just as wrong and horrible as it did when my mother did it. Maybe a little worse.

“I know a lot of people wouldn’t agree with your birth mother and I but this can be our little secret okay. Our own special secret.” He said as he pressed his fingers inside of me. “You can’t tell anyone because you’ll be taken away just like you were taken from mother. Do you know how crushed she was when you were taken away from her? That’s why she committed suicide. You broke her heart. You didn’t love her and it broke her.” He said and I started crying.

When my foster mother told me that my birth mother committed suicide, she told me that it wasn’t my fault. It always felt like it was but since my foster mother told me it wasn’t, I always tried to believe her.

But hearing my foster dad say that hurt more than I could ever explain.

“Can you show me how much you love me? Can you really love me instead of breaking my heart like you did your mother?” Dad whispered in my ear and I nodded. I suppressed a sob when he pushed himself inside. “Tell me you love me.” He panted in my ear.

“I love you.” I choked out. The words felt wrong on my tongue. I didn’t want to say them but I didn’t want to break my foster dad like I had my mother. My foster parents have been taking good care of me and I _had_ to show them my appreciation.

“I love you too.” He whispered in my hair; his hot breath against my skin made me feel even more disgusting.

It didn't feel like love.

It felt like pain.

Degradation.

Hate. 

Everything but love.

**Three Years Later**

I was in the hospital looking at the most precious little baby in the world. He was a darling little alpha boy that was a spitting image of me.

“His name is Anthony Edward Stark.” I told the nurse. “My little Tony.” She smiled; filling out the forms she needed to and left the room.

I was alone, utterly alone.

When I got pregnant, my foster mother supported me and promised to help me through it. And she kept that promise until she asked who the father was two days earlier and I told her the truth.

She called me a liar and a whore before she kicked me out. The stress of not having a damn place to go caused me go into labor and Tony was born a month premature.

But he was healthy and that was all that mattered.

“I love you.” I told Tony and I kissed his little head that was full of hair. “I love you so much.”

The only problem with loving Tony was that the only examples of love I had were extremely painful.

A pain I could never put my beautiful son through.

So now I have to learn just what love is.

**Two Days Later**

I was discharged from the hospital and back on the streets with absolutely no fucking place to go. So I just wandered around town, clutching my newborn baby close to my chest with one hand and carrying the travel bag my foster mother let me leave with in the other. After a while, Tony started crying. I figured he was hungry so I stopped in a park, trying to find a secluded spot to breastfeed him.

I looked him over as he ate. My little Tony needed so much. He needed diapers, clothes, warmth, shelter, protection and a plethora of other things I didn’t have, didn’t even know how to obtain.

I had to no way to take care of this child.

A child I didn’t even ask for.

After hours or wandering, trying desperately to think of some solution yet yielding none, day turned into night and I found myself in the pitch black of the wrong part of town.

Fear. 

That was all I felt. Pure fear.

It was a felling I had come to hate.

“Hello there sweet thing.” A male alpha said from seemingly nowhere.

“Leave me alone!” I said as forcefully as I could, backing up against the wall even though I couldn’t see the person who was talking.

The voice chuckled, “No need to be afraid. I have proposition for you because you seem to be in a bad fix.” The man said as he stepped out of the shadows.

“I said leave me alone!” I said as I turned to walk away but the man grabbed my arm.

“What are you going for? You’re cute so I’m guessing two hundred?” The man said. I wondered how he could even see me in the thick dark but he said two hundred dollars. That was something I desperately needed.

“How do I know you’re not going to try to cheat me?” I said cautiously. I hated the fact that I was even considering this but I really couldn’t see any other option.

Plus, it wasn’t like I had any purity to save.

My virginity had been taken.

The man pulled his wallet out of his pocket and grabbed some money out of it, handing me two one hundred dollar bills. He even took his phone out and let me examine the money to make sure it was real.

I stayed silent for a moment wishing I could come up with some else, trying to come up with any little alternative. Finally I sighed and nodded curtly.

“Great, turn around.” He said, his voice already holding impatience.

“What?! Wait! We can’t just fuck out here in the open. And I have a baby in my arms.” I protested. I hadn’t expected to be treated like royalty since I was seconds from becoming a whore but I didn’t expect him to be _this_ vulgar.

“Look kid, if you want to keep that money, you’ll figure it out.” The man said and I could tell that he was seconds from leaving.

I sighed and turned around, bracing myself against the wall with one hand and held Tony close to me with the other.

I hated that Tony had to witness it.

I knew he couldn’t see anything but I still felt like a crappy ass parent.

The man made quick work of lowering our pants and entered me harshly.

It hurt.

But that wasn’t why tears started to stream down my face.

 _“You disgraceful whore! We bring you in this house and try our best to love you and the best you can do is accuse my husband of_ rape _! GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE YOU WHORE. YOU SLUT!”_

I kept hearing my foster mother scream that at me in the back of my mind the whole time the alpha moved inside of me.

_“YOU DISGRACEFUL WHORE! YOU SLUT!”_

She was right. I was a whore. I was a slut. Only sluts allow themselves to get fucked out in the open, against a wall while holding their baby in their arms.

I didn’t want to be a whore.

But I really didn’t have any other options.

It didn’t take the alpha long to finish. “I’ll give you an extra hundred if I can knot you.” He growled in my ear. I simply nodded in dismay.

I wanted it to be over.

I wanted him out of me.

I felt so dirty.

Just like I did every time my birth mother touched me.

Just like I did every time my foster father pushed himself inside of me.

By the time the alpha pulled out five minutes later and handed me another crisp one hundred dollar bill, I felt like a piece of me died.

The alpha disappeared into the darkness again and I grabbed stuff, walking the opposite direction. There was a shady, run down motel a few streets away and I check out a room with two beds. After I settled in I went to the entirely-too-expensive-but-my-only-option corner store a block away and got some baby supplies.

Back in the motel, I held Tony close to me, smiling down at him. He was so precious.

Just looking at Tony gave me a hope he didn’t even know I had left.

I kissed Tony’s hair, softly whispering promises of a better future in his little ear and placed Tony in one of the beds, fluffing the covers over him to try and make him hidden, hoping to God that he wouldn’t start crying.

I kissed him on his cheek on last time, taking a deep breath before I left the room.

I knew what I had to do to make money.

**3 Years Later**

I was exhausted.

I just really wanted to go home and rest but I had to pick Tony up from the day care they had on my college campus and then study.

It was fine. I was used to running on empty. There was really nothing else one could do when they had a three year old, was a full-time student, and worked an illegitimate third shift job.

Though all my exhaustion melted away when I walked through the day care door and my son beamed, running towards me.

“Daddy, I missed you.” Tony said as I picked him up. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“I missed you too. Are you hungry?” I asked and Tony nodded jovially -the kid loved to eat. “Okay, I’ll get you a snack from the cafeteria and I’ll cook you something when we get home.”

“Can I get tacos?” Tony asked because he knew the school menu by heart. I laughed.

“One, you can have one. I don’t want you to spoil your dinner.” I said and Tony smiled wide, playing with some toy they gave him in the day care. “Are you okay? Did anyone hurt you or touch you when you were in there?” I asked Tony like I did every day when I picked him up from day care.

“No daddy, no one hurt me.” Tony answered just like he did every time I asked him. I searched him face to make sure he was okay and when I was sure he was telling the truth, I kissed his cheek.

“Good, but if anyone does, you be sure to tell me, okay?” I said, hoping to God no one would ever hurt my son the way I was hurt.

“Okay daddy, I will.” Tony said.

I smiled and took him to get his taco. I ended up buying him two because he was spoiled. But not in a bad way. We didn’t have much and Tony asked for so little so I tried to give him extra when I could. After he ate, I took Tony to the library with me as I did most days. I studied while my three-year-old son read college level books because he was a genius like that. I was knee deep in my homework when Tony suddenly pounced into my lap and hugged me.

“I love you daddy.” He said and I froze but only for a moment because I was learning.

Love wasn’t supposed to be painful. It was supposed to be joyful.

Not hurtful but kind.

Not create tears but bring smiles.

“I love you too baby.” I said for the first time in my son’s life since he was only a few hours old. Tony smiled wide and hugged me tighter.

A few hours later, when I was through studying I took Tony home to our new apartment building. We still didn’t have everything that I wanted but it was a hell of a lot better than what we used to have.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it. :D
> 
> Please leave feedback and feel free to criticize; I am always looking for opportunities to grow.
> 
> I’ve launched an E-Zine where people submit their favorite fics and the best ones get published in the zine. I’m doing this because I want to create something that acknowledges fanfic writers and makes them feel confident about themselves while bringing people of different fandoms together. To submit your favorite fics, go [Here](https://goo.gl/forms/h0LI8s7WGgZV2gBl1)


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